nostalgic labyrinth

my magical world

The tape read exactly 32 inches...

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish i could read people's minds.

(no subject)

"I realize now that the reality of things is not something you convey to people but something you make. It is this that gives birth to meaning. "
-- The Elephant Vanishes, Haruki Murakami

Anorexia nervosa is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes an eating disorder characterized by low body weight and body image distortion with an obsessive fear of gaining weight. Individuals with anorexia often control body weight by voluntary starvation, purging, vomiting, excessive exercise, or other weight control measures, such as diet pills or diuretic drugs. It primarily affects adolescent females, however approximately 10% of people with the diagnosis are male. Anorexia nervosa is a complex condition, involving psychological, neurobiological, and sociological components.


  1. Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height (e.g., weight loss leading to maintenance of body weight less than 85% of that expected; or failure to make expected weight gain during period of growth, leading to body weight less than 85% of that expected).
  2. Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming obese.
  3. Disturbance in the way in which one's body weight or shape is experienced, undue influence of body weight or shape on self-evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of the current low body weight.
  4. In postmenarcheal, premenopausal females (women who have had their first menstrual period but have not yet gone through menopause), amenorrhea (the absence of at least three consecutive menstrual cycles).
  5. Or other eating related disorders.


 i am not anaroexic. At least, not yet I don't think.

Steric effects are effects caused...

:) when i study, I procrastinate.
les examens will start demain.
je vais echouer.

It's official!

15 days left til I leave. which means arouns 11 more days til my finals.
why do i procrastinate so much.
Fireworks tomorrow, i can't wait. I hope everyone saves some ganjha for me.

(no subject)
My mother is a douche. I can't believe she woke me up and made me go to school at 7:45. Right now it's 8:46, thinking it was 9:46. I thought I was super late for my class. Seriously, she knows I don't usually leave til 9:00, and that I stayed up really late finishing up my chem last night. I feel disgusting, I havent showered and my stomach wants to eat itself alive. Why does she rush and bug me every morning? WHY 7:40 freaken 5 this morning? 

Last night she went ballistic like the incredible hulk. In fact, if she was green you'd probably can't tell the difference. She told me to call my dad. I told her I'm on it, but I just had to finish some stuff. Then she kept nagging me, seriously, she didn't even wait 5 minutes or even 1 minute when I told her I had some stuff to finish. And then she went crazy. I really want to move out. I'm saving up the money right now. 

On a side note, I worked for 9 hrs on saturday. My feet were exhausted. I liked my co-workers much more this time, even though some of them weren't super friendly. But I can't believe they only put me for temporary at Jacob Adults and put me permanently at Jacob Juniors. I HATE Jacob Juniors. In fact, I hate kids. I hate the way I have to dress at Jacob Juniors. AND I DONT GET A FREAKEN DISCOUNT AT ADULTS :|! What a bunch of hags. Of course, now I'll really quit the job by like, October or November. I am so not waisting boxing day working there. 

End of story.

On another note, I think I'm going to be making most of my personal entries friends only from now on due to the fact that I have anonymous users hiding their identity from me and telling me how wrong I am without understanding me. So if you want to comment me, please add me :)

(no subject)
I want new friends. I hate mine, wanna trade?

I've realized it is the same 2 people that has always managed to exclude me from everything. And always the same person that is so uncaring, and only thinks about herself. 

That's ok. I dont need them anyways.

I have quite the hectic schedule next week. Work calls, and I start Sunday. 
Sunday work: 12-5
Wednesday: Lab 1:30-5:30
Thursday: 5:00-9:00
Friday: Physics midterm, work 5:00-10:00
Saturday: 10:00-3:00

I wonder if my so-called friends understand why i can't hang out with them next week. I will fail my midterm if i go. Sure theres time i go, but then i have no time to study. They are the most inconsiderate people ive ever met, especially since some of them knows what my schedule's like. 

But what ever i'm used to being by myself anyways. 
Excuse me, because i have tears coming out of my eyes.


Where is summer? 
It is still freezing cold.

No one else can feel it for you

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten 

People should realize how shy I actually am. I don't mean to be anti-social. I am a glowing tomatoe. 

From today on, I'm going to be a new person. I'm going to tone everything down. I'm going to mature. 

Vanity VanityCollapse )

(no subject)

Dear anonymous poster, thank-you for your comment. I'd like to think that you are actually one of my friends trying to cheer me up. But whether or not, thanks for the post, you are the only person that has tried to cheer me up. Much appreciated. 

On another note, I felt so incompetent today. I have never felt so incompetent in my life. In my chemistry lab, we had to heat up a chemical for 60 minutes to separate it into a sulfuric layer and an organic layer. After waiting for >60 minutes, I managed to elbow the hot plate next to me, burned my arm and spilled all of my chemical. With only an hour left, I thought I was screwed. So I bounced along to my professors room and looked all sad :(. 

In the end, my TA's got really annoyed of waiting for me, and did my whole lab for me. I was the last person in that lab. I am so useless.

Anyways, I have an interview at Jacobs tomorrow, hope all goes well. 

is this it?

I've been thinking about a lot of things today.
No one cares about my feelings. Why should i care about anyone? 

I'm always happy on the outside, but that doesnt mean that I have no feelings to hurt. 

I need some time on my own to rethink about myself.


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